we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
