White coat. Heels.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
