think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
