I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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