My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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