I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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