there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
