How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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