Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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