Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
In other news, I just burned my penis
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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