Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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