I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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