Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Two words: blizzard sex
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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