It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
