why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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