Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
