Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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