bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
