We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
