If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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