this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
