How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And then the night went full on bisexual.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
