it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
