I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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