we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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