Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
