What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
