nutella sex= disaster
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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