Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
