Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
