Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
