Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
