how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
