so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
