I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
