I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Who died my cat blue again?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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