you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
