I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
