you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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