the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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