Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
