apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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