can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
