The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
