Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Everclear isn't food dammit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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