She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
