is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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