This is not my ceiling
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
