hotel room ftw
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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