it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
