This is not my ceiling
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
