At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
