Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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